Avoidant and defensive: Adult attachment and quality of apologies

After committing an offense, transgressors face an important decision regarding how to respond to the people they hurt. Do they make themselves emotionally vulnerable by offering high-quality, comprehensive apologies? Or do they seek to protect themselves with defensive strategies, such as justifica...

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Bibliographic Details
Published in:Journal of social and personal relationships 2019-03, Vol.36 (3), p.809-833
Main Authors: Schumann, Karina, Orehek, Edward
Format: Article
Language:English
Subjects:
Apologies
Attachment
Attachment style
Avoidance behavior
Email
Emotions
Excuses
Internet
Offenses
Strategies
Vulnerability
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Summary:After committing an offense, transgressors face an important decision regarding how to respond to the people they hurt. Do they make themselves emotionally vulnerable by offering high-quality, comprehensive apologies? Or do they seek to protect themselves with defensive strategies, such as justifications and excuses? In two studies, we examined the link between attachment styles and apology quality. We hypothesized that because people high in attachment avoidance are uncomfortable with emotional vulnerability and tend to defensively disengage from the emotional aspects of relationships, they would offer less comprehensive and more defensive apologies. In Study 1, participants imagined hurting a friend and then rated their likelihood of using each of eight apology elements and five defensive strategies. In Study 2, participants wrote a real e-mail to a person they had hurt. Our prediction was supported in both studies, suggesting that attachment avoidance plays an important role in how transgressors manage their offenses.
ISSN:0265-4075
1460-3608
DOI:10.1177/0265407517746517