Patterns That Challenge and Sustain Mutuality as Retired Couples Negotiate Gendered Power

• Published in: Family relations 2020-02, Vol.69 (1), p.195-206
• Main Authors: Nice, Lindsey, Knudson‐Martin, Carmen, Lough, Aubrey, Castillo, Nakisha, Doe, Kimberly
• Format: Article
• Language: English
• Subjects: Adult Learning; Adults; Aging (Individuals); Client relationships; Closeness; communication patterns; couple therapy; Couples; Decision making; Egalitarianism; Females; Gender; Gender inequality; Gender stereotypes; Grounded theory; Group Dynamics; Heterosexuality; Housework; Inequality; Interpersonal Relationship; Marketing; Mutuality; Negotiations; Norms; Objectives; Older Adults; Older people; Power; Power structure; Resistance (Psychology); Retirees; Retirement; Self Actualization; Sex Role; Sex roles; Sexual Orientation; Statistical Data; System theory; Systems Approach; Therapists; Well Being; Women
• ISSN: 0197-6664; 1741-3729; 0197-6664
• DOI: 10.1111/fare.12399

Objective To examine how older, heterosexual couples negotiate gendered power when both partners are retired. Background After retirement, changes frequently prompt couples to renegotiate traditional, gender‐informed ways of relating. Although a shift toward less gender‐specific division of tasks has been identified in previous studies, it is unclear how underlying gendered power structures may also be transformed. Method A constructivist grounded theory analysis was conducted of 18 interviews with a convenience sample of retired older couples (69–91 years of age) in Southern California. Results Three patterns were identified that kept couples engaged in stereotypic gendered processes: (a) women's relational responsibility, (b) masked inequality, and (c) men's marketing of traditional gender‐specific processes. In addition, four patterns were identified that moved couples closer to mutuality: (a) equal attunement to one another, (b) mutual decision‐making, (c) connecting with socioemotional context, and (d) recognition of inequality. Conclusion Retired couples seeking relational help may be experiencing a gap between ideals of mutuality and the persistence of gendered power. Implications This study shows that gendered power dynamics may be somewhat masked among older couples. Practitioners are advised to address the subtle ways that relational dynamics may remain gendered and the extent to which that limits closeness and connection within the relationship. Specific areas therapists should explore with clients are provided.