Standing in Spaces and Feeling Alright: The Experience of Bereaved Fathers of Fallen Soldiers in Israel

• Published in: Psychology of men & masculinity 2021-10, Vol.22 (4), p.715-722
• Main Authors: Weinberg-Kurnik, Galia, Anchoo, Ofra, Leichtentritt, Ronit D.
• Format: Article
• Language: English
• Subjects: Bereavement; Closeness; Death and Dying; Emotions; Expectations; Experiences (Events); Fathers; Female; Human; Interviews; Military Measures; Military Personnel; Phenomenology; Social environment; Soldiers
• ISSN: 1524-9220; 1939-151X
• DOI: 10.1037/men0000362

The unique voice of bereaved fathers of fallen soldiers has largely been ignored in Israeli discourse. Using 10 semistructured in-depth interviews, we examined the bereavement experience of Israeli fathers after the loss of a child during their army service. The interviews were analyzed using the hermeneutical phenomenology method. The fathers' bereavement experiences were characterized by swings between closeness and distance in two main contexts: (a) the father and his social environment and (b) his internal mental experiences. Three themes were identified: (a) the fathers create both distance and closeness to others; (b) closeness and distance within the fathers' internal world; and (c) the dialectic of the bereavement experience, namely the coexistence of distance and closeness. The results provide insight into the fathers' ability to "stand among the spaces," by negotiating various aspects of their selves in the context of bereavement. Public Significance Statement Gender-defined roles may make it difficult for bereaved fathers of fallen Israeli soldiers to express their feelings. In this study, their bereavement experience is characterized using the dialectics of distance and closeness, both within their inner world and in their relations with others. This ability to "stand among spaces" allows them to both express pain and to preserve their mental strength, creativity, and vitality.