Authentic Conversations

Adult children are poorly prepared to have productive and satisfying conversations with their parents about what they need as they age. Communication can be difficult because of generational differences, lack of consensus about priorities, and elder care liabilities. While authentic communication ca...

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Bibliographic Details
Published in:Journal of Practical Estate Planning 2009-10, Vol.11 (5), p.5
Main Author: McCabe, Jim
Format: Article
Language:English
Subjects:
Adult children
Age differences
Elder care
Estate planning
Families & family life
Family counseling
Generational differences
Liability
Parents & parenting
Verbal communication
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Summary:Adult children are poorly prepared to have productive and satisfying conversations with their parents about what they need as they age. Communication can be difficult because of generational differences, lack of consensus about priorities, and elder care liabilities. While authentic communication can be a healthy thing, facilitating the conversation can carry some liabilities. Getting involved in elder care giving can be very expensive. The cost of housing, health care and other senior services can be overwhelming for family members, especially if the parents are unwilling or unable to help with the cost of things. Approximately one-fifth of the families I work with have underlying emotional issues that have resulted in such conflict that they easily lose sight of the goal of "doing what's best for Mom." Once the children are able to agree on one or two issues, it is probably time to get the parent(s) involved. Finally in order for any conversation to be truly "authentic," it must involve the "person of interest." Mom has a right if she is interested, willing and capable, to be actively involved in decisions about how things will proceed, who will help with the process and what her role will be along the way.
ISSN:1524-5748